gloomy sunday

I hate it when I always put my hopes way up high and then I get super disappointed. Always reminding myself not to and yet, always getting hurt over and over. Sometimes I feel that I'm putting way too much effort and I just wanna call it quits but I can't. Sigh.

I cried today. Maybe It's my period signalling me It's coming. I feel sad and lonely for my soul just because I couldn't get what I wanted.

It's times like these when I hate myself the most. Seriously, the only one who never disappoints is the Lord. He only provides and I should be grateful to him for everything he's given me. I should love myself because I've been made in his image. God, forgive me for I'm a sinner and I can't help but feel these negative feelings sometimes. Let me pick myself up, Lord and make you proud. I trust you dear Father and i pray that you'll guide me even in the darkest hours. In Jesus's name I pray, Amen.