goodbye!

today... my maid found out that my hamster was dead... as i am typing this... i can feel that i m shivering a little... i HATE DEATH!!! i saw my hamster there... just lying there... i remembered all the times when we had so much fun... all the times when we played together... all the cuteness, the luffing part... everything... i really can't express myself... this time... i really felt wierd... i dunno but i can't really read my feelings and emotions rite now... i just buried my hamster just now... downstairs where the bushes are... when i buried him... i said, "Bye hammie... sorry..." i told evangeline taht i think i m never gonna have another pet... not even a dog... i guess it hurts too much... yes... all the joy it brings but its becos of all the joy it brings that's y we will get hurt so much eventually when he goes... den i went upstairs... maybe i'll get over it? but he'll always be in my heart... i noe he will... how are we gonna tell brenda? it's after all her hamster... i hope she'll be alright..

but i think i m still very lucky... cos i still have balloon with me... he's still alive and we should cherish those who are alive rite now... hai... sadness fills half of my heart... i really cannot believe ah... that he died... i tot he was sleeping all this while... and... and ... and i never took the trouble to go and play with him cos i've been returning home late these few days... yes... i noe... all these are excuses... i noe i only have myself to blame... i m really sorry... no wonder my mum says u have to have a big responsibility if u want to keep a pet... but i dun think i m to blame for everything... everyone has a part to play in this... i dun want to push the blame but... hai... y even bother... hammie's dead already...

ok... enuff of all the typing... i'll get over it... all of us will... it's only a matter of time... time can heal a million wounds... hai...